


It's not you, it's him

by Liamfuckszayn



Category: Liam Payne (Musician), One Direction, Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Anal Sex, Autoerotic Asphyxiation, Bisexuality, Bottom Liam, Choking, Cum Play, Established Daddy Kink, F/M, Face-Fucking, Love Triangles, M/M, Pining Zayn, Porn With Plot, Possibly Unrequited Love, Power Bottom Zayn, Praise Kink, Sexuality Crisis, Slapping, Smut, Solo Artist Zayn, Top Zayn, Zayn Malik Loves Liam Payne, Zayn likes it nasty, later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-03
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7669336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liamfuckszayn/pseuds/Liamfuckszayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>" Leeyum, I-" a strangled whine come out because, he's grade 9 hard and he needs release.</p><p> </p><p> " Yeah, Zee," Liam responds, so coy, so nonchalantly. He's taking a sip of whatever the brown liquid is and it's burning his throat. I loves this, Liam thinks to himself, every second of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preview

**Author's Note:**

> It's 2K16 and I'm still in love with Ziam. Anyway, I really craved a series where Zayn tries to move on from Liam but he can't because Liam is perfect. He's so genuine, Liam, and he cares, even a bit too much. He's always so understanding yet so goofy when needed. Liam's also so fucking cute and Zayn's got to witness first hand how Liam's grown into the man he is today. His adorable strawberry blonde and chestnut curls has changed into a quiff. His cheeks are still full, and boyish yet his jawline and frame are lean and muscular. Most of all, his eyes are as bright and soft as the day they met.  
> But instead this trashy smut took over.
> 
> Also, there are a lot of spelling and grammatical errors that can be found in this work that'd make my AP Lang. and Comp. Teacher cringe.

It start off like this. 

She's pretty, he knows she is. Everyone knows she is, she a supermodel with endless, somewhat pale legs that never seem to fail her. She's got long, thick blonde hair, with natural brown tints that help bring out her eyes. And they are soft yet bright eyes that alway gleam with affection. She's a good actress, Gigi, that is. And she's an upgrade, not that Perrie was bad, or that bad at least, it's just Gigi knows what to do, that Perrie didn't. Her touches linger longer, her smile look a little more genuine, her personality is more realistic. The only thing wrong is, it seems as though her acting is getting a bit too easy, too natural for his liking. 

She takes an interest in him, somethings Perrie didn't do. She relates to him on a deep, intimate level that makes his skin crawl, and he doesn't understand why. She knows what it's like, to be something you're not; hell, she's living the same life he is. Her dad's Muslium, too. She thrusted into fame as well, and she just wants to be someone, to really be someone.  
So, he gives her credit for that, at the very least. However, with all her kindness and understanding. She's not what Zayn's looking for. 

\---  
And it turns into this.

It's around twelve in the afternoon and Zayn's sitting in a private jet getting ready for some photoshoot, for some Magazine. And if he remembers correctly, he'll be the first male to ever partake as the front cover but he can't be bothered to remember the other details. This is good, he thinks to himself, it'll distract the fans from the mess that is his Twitter , from the ignorant tweets and the shallow remarks. It will also bring focus to his album, and hopefully bring more sales.  
And he's deep in thought, think of whether he's going to eat or light a fag once he gets off this death trap when he feels her hand travel to his leg, rubbing small, smooth circles on his small thigh. He looks up to see Gigi staring at him already, a faint smile on her lips. 

" Are you ok?" She mouths,and he all does is shrug. Which is an accurate response, he doesn't know and he doesn't want to think about feelings and emotions or whatever it is that she's prying to know. 

She sighs, it a soft breathy sign, barely audible, yet nevertheless there and it annoys him. She's got nothing to be upset about, he thinks to himself, she's got nothing to be angry about. 

She removes her hand and pulls out her phone once she's seen the pilot put on the phone lights, indicating it's alright to use your phone. And he mimics her, reaching in his pocket for his iPhone. 

He immediately clicks on the Twitter app and his heartbeat quickens. He sees fans tweeting how he feels about #soloLiam and Liam's possible rise as an RnB artist such as himself. And there is a tightness in his chest, and his eyes are glued to the phone screen because it's been a year more or less and that name, that name does so much to him. And his mind is telling him to do something, to tweet back, to congratulate Liam because Zayn knows he'll smash it. Yet his heart can't take it, he doesn't want to acknowledge the past, he doesn't want to see how happy Liam, and even Niall, Harry, Louis are doing with out him, so he presses the home button twice and swipe up to get off the app. 

And he doesn't know why he does it but he goes on Tumblr and he wishes he didn't. He especially wishes he did type in, 'solo Liam'. He sees Liam, with Juicy J, smiling that stupidly cute smile of his. He's gotten chubbier, and not in a bad way, because Zayn would never admit it but he's always loved Liam's cheeks. And he scrolls down to see fans, many happy for Liam talk about Liam doing features with artists like Rihanna, Frank Ocean and even Drake. And Zayn's sad, because Liam could kill it on his own, he wouldn't need anyone else. And his thumb flick over the screen and he sees a picture he really, really wishes he never saw. It's Liam, he looks so good, too good. He looks so happy, as he stares at Cheryl. His smile is wide and if juxtaposed between the one with Juicy J and now this, Liam's smile is bigger, brighter and it's a smile that Zayn is all to familiar with, because , well, it's his grin. Liam looked at him like that and, now, now he doesn't. 

The pilot comes on the intercom to announce that they will be arriving in less than 20 minutes and it's nice and breezy and they should be landing fairly smooth. And as soon as the pilot goes on the the intercom he's off. And Gigi turns to face him but say nothing just gives a small smile before she's back on her phone again. 

 

Zayn goes back to his phone and stares at the picture. Cheryl's wearing a salmon colored outfit, it compliments her skin color; that's the only positive thing he can think of before he start to internally criticize her. Particularly because , 'she's too old, she's not even looking at him, she's just using him,' Zayn thinks and then, again he wishes he could just stop but he says, " Shes not me," out loud and Gigi turns to look at her boyfriend. 

" Who's not you, babe." She asks, eyes still glued to the phone. 

" Ah-Uh," and he's never been so greatful for his quick thinking skills as he replies," whom ever you're talking to, they aren't me." He says turning off his phone and moving towards her, catching her in a kiss. 

It's soft and needy and he whines too much because she's not giving him what he wants as she takes his bottom lip between her teeth. But, he'll take the distraction.

\---  
And it continues like this.

His photo shoot is done, and it was for Elle magazine. He's walking into his hotel room and he won't see Gigi until tomorrow. Fans are tweeting him, and he smiles because he's happy that they are happy. Yet, his grin vanishes quickly from his face when someone puts a side by side photo of how he's changed through the years and it's a picture with Liam by his side as they are seated on a couch. And yeah, Zayn will admit he's unnecessarily close to Liam on that couch but it was the first stage of his in going crush and he couldn't not touch Liam. And the person has tagged a plethora of people and placed a lot of hashtags and he can't, he just can't help it, so he looks at the comments and...

' Imagine if Zayn got a haircut because he loved Liam's so much and he wanted to be more like LiMA BeAN aND I CanT BrEAthE. #boyfriend haircuts #ziAm #powerbottomzayn' 

And Zayn laughs,a shaky and nervous laugh because his fans are smarter than they'll ever know. And the account is all about he and Liam so he clicks on it and, " Oh, damn," he says as he reads the explicit 'drabbles' of he and Liam. And in this one Liam is a pompous jock, and Zayn's a nerdy hipster who has caught Liam's eye. They're in the locker room, alone and, " Zayn's taking as much of Liam as he can..." and Zayn's character has Liam a moaning mess and he's spewing incoherent nonsense at him, calling him a cockslut and daddy's little princess. And Zayn didn't realize how accurate those words were, and he misses the days Liam would call him that.

\---  
Their first time was like this.

Well, it wasn't their first time but it was the first time Zayn knew what he was doing. 

It was that concert, the concert back in 2013 or '14 where he ate that candy thong off Harry, touching Harry and whispering to Harry and pissing off Liam. But Liam wouldn't say anything about it because two could play at this game and Liam would just ignore Zayn. Zayn noticed how Liam would move away or stare at Harry immensely. And Zayn decided enough was enough, so he got really close to Liam, as the light went low and licked the back of Liam's ear just how Harry liked it, on purpose. 

"Gonna teach me who I belong to... ?" Zayn asked licking the shell of Liam's ear. 

And just like that the lights came back, illuminating the red tint on Liam's cheeks as Zayn walked away. 

When the concert was over, Liam sat on the couch talking to his mother. Informing her that he missed her, and he wish she was here because fast food was starting to get gross. And she chuckled into the phone as she said , ' I love you too, Liam. Behave. And say hi to Zayn and the boys for me.' And he looked around to see Zayn looking at him as Harry was talking to him. 

" Yeah, Ma. Love you, more. Tell dad and the girls, I say, Hi." And with that he hung up. He stood up and informed everyone he was going to the hotel. 

It hadn't even been 20 minutes before Zayn came into the room, panting as if he'd run down the hall into Liam's room, into his bathroom. A white, thin hotel towel hung loose around Liam's waist, showing off his wet abdomen and his happy trail that bisected his v-line. 

" Reckon you'd stay the night with Harry." Liam stated not looking at Zayn, taking the towel off, wiping his damp hair with it. And all Zayn could do was stare, stare at Liam in envy. He was cute with his soft features yet hard jawline, and big bisecps and lean frame. And his cock, it was, so fucking huge, and veiny and perfect with its pink mushroom head and...

" He's not you, Li... He's not- he can't do it..." Zayn's never like this, he's really not. He's mature and is grateful for the amount of self control he possesses but he's so, so horny and he wants someone to give it to him. To fuck him into oblivion, to maneuver and man handle his small frame. And Liam's his best friend, other than Louis in the band, so it's not weird, it's ' bros helping bros'. 

And Liam walk past Zayn, ignoring him, and goes to the to table and pours himself a drink, and swirls it around. He's still naked, standing in front of the large window looking over the busy city. And Zayn can't help but stare at his toned, tan legs and his flexed ass cheek, and his smooth back. 

" Leeyum, I-" a strangled whine come out because, he's grade 9 hard and he needs release. 

" Yeah, Zee," Liam responds, so coy, so nonchalantly. He's taking a sip of whatever the brown liquid is and it's burning his throat. I loves this, Liam thinks to himself, every second of it.

" I needed- I need you." And Zayn's so desperate for the attention Liam's not giving him. And he's trying to hold back tears, because maybe if Liam does look at him he'll blow his laid in his pants. 

" Yeah, Zee, I know," he's still looking outside at the moving cars. There's a couple getting into a Taxi and he watches eagerly, as he takes his last gulp, his throat hurting. " Strip for me, Zee." 

And Zayn's not amused because Liam's not even looking at him, his eye focused on whatever is out there. But de does it, and fast until he's got nothing but boxer briefs on and Liam finally turns around. 

" What do you want from me?" Liam asks. 

"I wanna- want it rough ." Zayn says and Liam laughs, and Zayn's never been so embarrassed in his life. 

"I'll give you what I can." Liam says, slyly and walk back, further than Zayn to a small black couch. 

"Turn to the side, and take it off, slowly." Liam says as pours another glass. And to add to embarrassment Zayn now feels humiliation. He probably could have done this in the comfort of his own room. Got himself off and it'd be over but not he's got his hand in his pants and a tear on his cheek as he hisses because finally, he had contact, even if it's not the one he wants. And a hand is going to his quiff and he pulls a bit because he doesn't know what to do with himself. All while a naked Liam watches him, completely unhinged.

And Zayn's watching Liam now, as his boxers are on the carpet. And his hands are touching himself, everywhere, anywhere but his prick. He's walking towards Liam, and Liam's all flustered, face red, and Zayn knows he's in control, Zayn has the upper hand now. And now their knees are touching and Liam's looking at Zayn's dick and Zayn's looking at Liam beautiful face. 

" You wanna touch it?" Zayn asks.

"No..." Liam says putting his empty glass down. And Zayn's shocked for a moment before Liam's picking him up. And Zayn's so light, and so lanky and his dick is rubbing on Liam's abdomen. Liam's big hands are squeezing Zayn's small yet firm ass and Zayn's moaning. It's all too much, everything is becoming too much. Liam's kissing Zayn so he'll be quite because his whimpers are loud and echoing through the room. 

And then Liam throws Zayn fast, hard against the queen sized bed, on his back. Zayn moans again because this is what he wants, this is it.

" You little whore." Liam says smiling as he dives in between Zayn's legs. And he lays there for a second or two and watches Zayn's angry cock leak of precum and looks up through his lashes at Zayn who's watching him intensely, and Zayn's whimpering again because Liam's not doing anything but watching him. 

" Flip over," and before Zayn can do so Liam's moving him, and lightly pushing his face down so his ass is up. And his hole is exposed and Liam's finally getting down to business and tracing a finger around it.

"F-Fuck, Leeyum," Zayn mumbles into the pillow as he feels something wet enter him forcefully. It's Liam's tongue fucking into him, and Zayn's happy that there's no foreplay now. 

Liam takes his large, left hand and smacks Zayn's ass so hard, as his tongue goes all the way out to only go back in. And Zayn yelps, and he bites down on the pillow , a low grunt coming from his chest. And Liam hits him again, in the same spot, harder and Zayn's going to fucking cum, and he tells Liam. 

" Daddy's Little Girl," is all Liam says once his tongue is out of Zayn before he flips Zayn again to face him. And Zayn opens his mouth about to complain because he was going to cum, then and there but the tip of Liam's dick is in his mouth. Zayn's about to bring his hand to work on the rest of Liam's enormous dick but Liam grunts and says, " do it with no hands." ( like a true hip hop artist) .  
Liam is literally face-fucking Zayn as saliva and precum are spilling out of his mouth. Zayn gags as Liam tries to go deeper and his breathing is heavy and Liam stops. 

" You're so gorgeous. So good for Daddy." Liam murmurs, dick still in Zayn's mouth. And Zayn looks up watery eyed, for the second time that night. 

"I'm gonna, I'm going to fuck you so well and proper. " Liam says leaving Zayn's mouth. He spreads Zayn's legs before spitting in his hand and rubbing it on his dick. And Zayn realizes this isn't Liam. This isn't that cute little Wolverhampton kid anymore, this is sex God sent to bless him with his magical cock. 

It burns so fucking much, and it's splitting Zayn in two and..

" It's too fucking tight, it's too tight, daddy" Zayn's states and Liam can't tell if Zayn wants him to pull out or stay in, so he gets out slowly, just to have Zayn bring a hand to Liam's chest. Zayn adjusts himself, onto his elbows so he can catch Liam's lips as Liam moves in again. 

"Such a little cockslut, taking all of me in your little ass." Liam says, bring his hand to Zayn's face, and he's not letting Zayn adjust to him. Just fucking the mushroom tip into his hole. Liam's hands make their way to Zayn's neck, squeezing on it as he enters Zayn completely, bottoming out, his balls hitting Zayn's ass. 

The sensation is overwhelming. He feels so full so complete and on top of it all the hand around his neck is keeping him grounded, to let him know this is real. And wraps his hands on Liam's wrist and he pushes himself up, the back of his head moving to touch the head board , and slams down on Liam's cock. And Liam brings his head down to the crook off Zayn's neck and he lets Zayn fuck down on him. 

" You're so- so skilled princess," Liam states because it's true. Who the fuck does this, who is pinned down by the neck and takes control like this. And Liam's so amazed and his dick is throbbing inside Zayn but he's not ready yet, he doesn't want to to be over yet. 

". Daddy, can- could you say it again." Zee moans out and Liam smile onto Zayn's collarbone. Looks like Zayn's gotta praise kink, Liam think to himself. 

" Ah, fuck baby. Work that tight ass on me. " Liam moans, now he's meeting Zayn half way fucking him hard and fast, and it makes a wet slapping noise in the air. The headboard is hitting the wall with them, Liam's grip tighter. Zayn's whimpers louder.

Zayn maybe lanky but he isn't weak. He lets go of Liam's wrist and grabs Liam's face instead and puts it in front of him, to looking into Liam's soft brown eyes as he destroys his ass. And Liam lets go of Zayn's neck for a second and smiles so lovingly at Zayn as sweat shines on his face. Zayn takes the opportunity to reach down and pull Liam out of him. And his so sad at the loss of contact and Liam's giving him a confused look, eye brows raised. Zayn turns over, Liam's cock still in his hand. He's facing the head board, hole stretched as his sinks back onto Liam. And Liam lets out a low grunt when he's all the way in, he loves this position, doggy-style that is. And Zayn takes Liam's left hand from Liam's side and makes him grab his ass and Liam takes the hints and slaps it. 

" So fucking tight, princess" Liam says breathing into Zayn's quiff before taking two fingers and putting it in Zayn's mouth. 

"You've been such a bad boy Zanyie, flirting with Harry like that." Liam says as Zayn chokes on Liam's fingers, his thrust more reckless, to punish Zayn.

And Zayn's moans are so loud and gargled as saliva comes out of his mouth. Liam takes his two fingers out and smears the spit all over Zayn's face as he covers Zayn's mouth. 

" Daddy, I'm going to cum. I'm going to cum so hard." Zayn says through Liam's hands, and Liam's other hand slaps Zayn's ass again, the tan skin so, so, so red.

" Do it, love" and Zayn's hand doesn't even reach his prick before he is shaking, muscles flexing, hole clenching, mind blank.

"Not all over the pillow, love." Liam says but it's too late. 

And Zayn's still so high, still in an euphoric state that he doesn't realize he's moving back, fuck Liam cock through his own orgasm.

"Shit baby, just- just like that. Right on my fat cock." Liam whispers and soon he's losing it too and he comes in Zayn, no condom.

And takes Liam out of him, hissing and Liam's not done cumming even though there is some spilling out of his hole, dripping down his left leg. And puts his face in front of Liam's dick, the rest of the cum on his face, because what are best bros for?

\---  
And he wishes it could be like this.

Liam's first album did much better than anticipated. With six nominations and hopefully six wins. He's been on billboards hot100 for 9 weeks, entering his 10th and Zayn's watched from afar all this time. And he's so proud of Liam's accomplishments more than his own. He's so happy that Liam's happy. And he's on stage, singing the duet with Liam , kissing Liam, announcing that they are expecting a baby girl...

Instead it goes like this. 

His chest tightness, deep just like the day he first met Liam, just like that night in the hotel but this time it's Gigi who looks at him worried and not Liam.


	2. Nonna

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a nice chapter in mind, but instead I've created this monster.
> 
> ** Also, I imagine Zayn's a really nice guy tha got a great heart but for the sake of this plot and bandage Zayn in Tahiti, I give you this...

\---  
(Not all events are real within this work) 

It continues like this.

A few days after Zayn's photoshoot the guilt beginnings to set in. He can't stop daydreaming about Liam's pink, plump lips roaming his body. He can't stop thinking about Liam's hands holding him down, he can't stop thinking about Liam's raspy voice as he tells Zayn everything he wants to hear. Most importantly he can't stop thinking about how perf- wonderful it felt when Liam would smile so lovingly, eye crinkling, cheeks rosy even after that night in the hotel. Yet the worst thing isn't that he can't focus on anything because of his daydreams, the worst part is it's affecting his performance with Gigi. 

He's slipping. The fans are catching on to their stunt and at this point he doesn't even care. And that's where he feels guilty. The poor girl is actually falling for him. She's in love to the point where she's obsessed with him. She calls, constantly, just to ask stupid questions like,' babe, how are you?' or ' how's your mom' and it's too domestic for him. He's constantly yelling at her, getting frustrated easily and he picks the pettiest things to fight about and she's taking it. She keeps thinking it's her fault and he can't stop because someone has to be blamed.

They are currently at some club, celebrating something stupid and pointless and the music is dull so he just sits, staring blankly ahead. Gigi comes back with a beer for Zayn, laughing at something her friends are saying. It's probably not as fun as she's making it out to be but it's enough for her to trip on her own feet and spill the Guinness on his shirt. His least favorite shirt, but his shirt nonetheless and he's quick to stand up, kicking the black chair from underneath him so it falls.

" You've got to be fucking kidding me. Are you stupid or something?" He yells and all eyes are on him. The laughter stops immediately and is followed by multiple apologizes, " Zayn,babe " Gigi gasps," I'm so sorry, I didn't-" she says getting up. " Don't fucking babe me," he interrupts, his voice loud and terrifying. " Get your shit, we are leaving." He yells again. 

His breathing is deep and erratic as he grabs her by her forearm, practically dragging her out the back door of the club. 

"Zayn, Zayn -ow- let go, " She whimpers as she tries to pry his fingers off her. 

" Babe, please stop." They are outside, and Zayn can faintly hear Travis Scott behind them. It's times like this where he hates himself. There was no reason for him to act like this, she tripped and it's just beer, he can get another shirt if the Spray 'n' Wash doesn't work, but right now he's mad and all he sees is red. 

" Zayn!" a male voice yells from behind him. Zayn turns around, Gigi uses the opportunity to free herself running towards the figure. It's their bodyguard. " Don't ever touch her, like that."

" Who the fuck do you think you are, mate?" He screams. " I pay your broke ass, you work for me." He states hitting his chest with each word. He look ridiculous and by now there is a growing crowd of people with their phones out. 

"I don't fucking need you," Zayn screams, " I can get any fit bitch I want-" He's spewing nonsense now, insulting Gigi, calling her rude and unnecessary names because she needs to know, she needs to know it's her fault he's acting like this. In actuality, it has nothing to do with her.

One person snickers at Zayn's display. And he charges, he fucking sprints and his fist collides with the persons jaw. He swings again, fist hitting the persons nose, then kicking repeatedly in the stomach and he can't stop. He's so angry and he doesn't know why. He's so upset and he just wants someone to tell him it's going to be okay. And that better days are coming, that he'll be happy, truly happy one day, he's just has to wait. 

But instead he's beating up some poor kid who has done nothing to him and raging at his girlfriend for not being some else. The crowd has grown immensely, camera lights flashing in his face and his bodyguards are trying to pull him off the kid as sirens are approaching. 

 

He's completely fucked now, if he wasn't already. 

" Get him out of here," he hears someone say once he's been successfully removed from the poor kid. " Take him somewhere far, anywhere but here."

He's being pushed in a black Range Rover before he can process what he's done. And looks through the crowd to look for Gigi, and she's already looking at him.

\---

The night continues like this.

 

He's at some weird gay club. Well it's not specifically for homosexuals, it just happens to have lots of gay people at it. Or so the reviews online stated. And he knows he's being so, so, so stupid yet again, for the umpteenth time but he can't think straight as of lately and he really hopes that it isn't a pun he'll be using in the near future. (see what I did there)

He's confused is what he tells himself. He's just caught up in the fact that he needs more sleep, and to stop using cheap ass weed. Or maybe it's because he's stressed and he just needs a break from it all. But even if that's true, it doesn't excuse the irrational behavior he's displayed earlier that night so he gets out his phone and dials the number. 

It rings for a few seconds too long and he understands because if he was a t the other end, he's reject the call as well.

"- babe," there's heavy breathing and police sirens making it hard for him to hear her. "Babe, where are you?" She asks. She's calm, relaxed even. If anything, he admires that the most about her. She's always comforting him, even if she needs it more. 

"I'm sorry, G. I should have never raised my voice like that to you, nor put my hands you." He says genuinely,"and I'm sorry for the times I will hurt you." 

It's a nice enough apology but she must have not understood what he was implying because she says," It's okay baby, it's okay Z. I still love you." 

And with that he hangs up because she just doesn't get it, still. 

The bar is typical, not that he expected it to be different but it's also known for being an underground LGBTQ celebrities hangout spot. He makes his way to the bar, he's got a black hoodie so people won't know who he  
is or why he's there. He asks the bartender for the 'VIP Lounge and tells him Harry Styles sent him.' and the barman laughs," and people think he's straight." 

A women is called in, a few inches shorter than he is to escorts him to the very back of the club, to a large, industrial door. She's pretty, honestly, if he wasn't hear for a sole purpose he'd have had a 'one and done' with her. 

She opens the door, and there it is. The room is neon green and there are poles, everywhere. Literally everywhere. And there are chairs being occupied in the corners of the room as men and women  
alike are dancing on the poles. 

Zayn takes a deep breath before turning to the lady but she's already walking away, " Have fun Mr. Malik" she says almost out of sight. He looks at her, completely confused as to how she knows who he is and she just smiles.

And shit, he hopes he does have fun. 

The first thing he does is sit down and collect himself. He's got one job here tonight: to figure out if he's gay. It's as simple as that, so he takes off his hoodie, that did him no good anyway. And he scans the room. He sees two strippers, both female, kissing and he's immediately intrigued. This is good he thinks, every guy likes lesbians. But, he thinks again, why are lesbians only allowed to be with one another for a man's pleasure. And this isn't where his thoughts are supposed to be. They're both hot, the girls that is and yet he's thinking about political correctness. And the black one, who's really attractive is now looking at Zayn and he feels like he's interrupted them. Zayn blushes turns around. 

That's when he sees the guy and he has to close his eyes to then do a double take. He looks like Liam, his Liam. Similar but not exact because the nose is all wrong and the eyes a green but the structure is there. The guy looks like a 2014 version of Liam James Payne and he's grinding on another guy. And Zayn is flustered as they make eye contact. The man smiles mischievously at Zayn as he's riding another man's leg, dancing sinful on him . And the man is glistening with sweat and putting his hands all over himself, muscles flexing, hands slowly going down his own chest. The neon green color changes to a vibrant purple and the stripper gets up.

And he's walk towards Zayn, and Zayn's panicking. Why him? Why does he have to look like Liam? 

" Hey babe," says the guy and the man has got an accent, an Italian one at that.

And it's all too much because the guy is full blown naked and Zayn's looking everywhere but at him. " 's Giovanni but you can call me whatever you like," and Zayn's trying really hard to not laugh. This is some weird dream. All of it. From X Factor, to the band up until this very moment is all someone else's sick dream. He doesn't laugh but instead stands up, to his own surprise and grabs 'Giovanni's' hand and leads him out of the lounge to the area clearly saying Do Not Enter. But Zayn's a rebel, so fuck the sign.

He needs to know if he's into men or if it's just Liam. And Giovanni is attractive, there is no question about it, with his brown quiffed hair, shaved on the sides. And- " You read English, no?" Giovanni asks," it says do not enter and you've -" he rambles and Zayn's ignoring him. Maneuvering the two, to a room where the strippers get ready in, or so he presumes.

" Touch me, yeah?" Zayn starts," but like, slowly?" And it's all coming out of his mouth before he can process it.

" Make love? It's that what you want...um.." Giovanni asks.

" Zack?" Zayn offers because the guy clearly doesn't recognize who he is. "I know who you are, everyone here does. Harry talks about you and a Liam sometimes."  
" No, it's just fucking. " Zayn says ignoring Gio's comment because Harry would do that and the stripper laughs," You silly Westerners, love is so foreign to you people." He's taking off Zayn beer stained Tee as he speaks," You need to learn to enjoy life. Let things happen naturally." He lectures to Zayn. He gets down on his knees when he's done with the shirt, now unzipping Zayn's fly.  
" My nonna always tells me to do what I love and the rest will fall into place. And, Zack you are not letting that happen." He says once he's gotten Zayn's cock out. He pumps Zayn slowly, skilled fingers rubbing the tip. 

" You like to have old men touch you as they please?" Zayn asks because who the hell 'loves' to be a stripper? " I love to make people happy, Zack. I love, to love them, even for few moments." And Zayn really likes this guy, with his broken English and overtly romantic speeches.  
He's so much like Liam, reassuring him every step of the way.

" Sei un bel ragazzo, Zack- a very beautiful boy, indeed." Giovanni says before taking Zayn in his mouth. He puts his hands behind his back, completely submissive. He only works on Zayn's tip, occasionally small licking underneath, trying to get Zayn fully hard. And Zayn closes his eyes, and he sees his boy. He sees the shy yet outgoing eighteen years old Liam with his curly chestnut, strawberry blonde- he's got no clue how to describe it- hair and warm brown eyes like hazelnut coffee with and a dash of creamer- and that's maybe why Zayn finds himself drinking it more often than not. And God, he's so gay for Liam. And it's eating him up because what about his Mom? She's so nice, she's never had the heart to confess about the times he's disappointed her but this could be the breaking point. 

" Keep talking, keep going, please." Zayn complains. He doesn't want to to think about the reprocussions of who he is and what the means for the future. He can do both the thinks- no pun intended- he's been doing it for twenty- three years he can continue.' Because your doing so well he thinks to himself. He opens his eyes and Giovanni comes off with a pop and smiles up at Zayn. 

" You need to be honest with yourself. Be honest. Open up to yourself and be happy." Precum is oozing from his dick and he's so horny, and Gio is swiping it in his face, like a pornstar. He's such a slut he tells himself. He's literally getting off on someone stranger, who just happens to look like Liam, who talks sentimentally, just like Liam , in a strip joint where Harry comes to a little too often. 

" You deserve to be happy, Zack. You owe yourself that much." Giovanni stands up and rest his head on Zayn's shoulder. He grabs both their dicks in his hand as he kisses Zayn's collarbone. And the friction is so good. And Zayn grabs onto Giovanni's hip because that have nothing to lean against. They must look ridiculous to anyone who would walk in. Two men standing in the middle of a room, soft and needy whimpers escaping both their mouths as they embrace each other. 

" I'm gonna, I'm gonna.." Zayn keeps moaning. As he looks in between them. His dick, as well as the man's is an angry red as it goes in and out of the hand. And it so hot to watch, the two cooks coming in and out of Gio's hand, cum shiny all over his hand.

" Sei un bel ragazzo, Zack. Love is for you, too." Giovanni says, an animalistic groan following as warm, white liquid leaks onto Zayn's cock. Giovanni shaking from his orgasm is sending Zayn over the edge as well. Cum in Gio's hands as he releases as well. " Fuck Li-Gio, Gio,Gio." He repeats because shit, he can't get Liam out of his head. And with that Gio moves backwards and smiles at Zayn, just like Liam did. Same stupidly adorable grin.

"How did you do that?" Zayn asks. Everything Giovanni said was so cheesy and stupid and yet Zayn came from him saying it. 

" We are all looking for someone to love us. We are all a little broken Mr. Malik." Gio says, eating the last of both their cum.

\---  
It gets even more fucked up like this. 

They are in fucking Tahiti. On a boat. On a massive body of water. And Zayn literally wants to die. He hates water and Gigi wants him to get in. 

" I'm good babe, I'll watch,you have fun in there." He says which is untrue because the moment she gets into the water she goes on his phone. And he's about to go on Twitter when he gets a call from an unknown number

He's such a moron for picking up. 

" Hello Zayn,". It's a woman," You and your beautiful girlfriend Gigi are invited to celebrate Liam and I getting engaged." Oh fuck, he thinks. 

His management team really wants to kill him. First he's gotta have a fake girlfriend who's failing in love with him. Next he finds out he's bisexual, which is what's he's concluded although Tumblr suggest he's pansexual. And now the guy he's liked far longer than the can remember is engaged. 

"Zayn,you there? We need to know what address to send the invitation to?" Cheryl asks. Zayn congratulates them and proceeds to tell her the address before hanging up.

After he received one of the best hand-jobs of his of his life he and Giovanni talked. They talked like they had been best friends forever as they both sat naked in the middle of the room. Heavy panting and atmosphere filled with musk but Zayn talked about Liam. Liam's face, although Giovanni knew what he looked like. And Liam's god awful jokes that make Harry seem like a comedian. He talked about Liam's favorite songs and how prior to them being in the band Liam hated America Rap but now can rap to any Future song Zayn names. And he talks about how Liam hates fried eggs and only eats fried chicken from KFC. And Gio smiles and tells Zayn they've sat there for two and a half hours. And Zayn remembers Gigi and rants about her for a few minutes as he gets dressed.

"She's a nice girl, and she deserves to be happy but I can't be with her if I'm not happy." and Giovanni giggles because," I'v been telling you that the whole time Mr. Malik."

Yet now, in Tahiti, in this boat, Zayn may not have any options so he calls Gio because he's got no other friends. And Gio said he'd keep his mouth shut, if he gets to be front row at Zayn's concert and a shout out .

"He's getting married Gio." He whispers in to the phone. " They've invited me to the engagement party." And Giovanni gives him some lovesick lecture about fighting on because," You deserve to be happy, everyone does. Or so my Nonna says."

And conveniently Gigi's out of the water and comes to sit next to Zayn. " Did you see that babe, I went all the way to the sand bank." She says, pointing outward.

" We're going to an engagement party." Is all he says in reply.

\---

The beginning of the end starts like this.

" Zayn Malik, back at it again. It seems as if everyone's favorite Badboy can't stop himself." The radio personal states," first Justin Bieber lets it slip ex Selena Gomez and the former 1D star were more than just friends despite her being linked to Niall Horan. Spill the tea Zayn, was that why you left? And now he's being sued for a million dollars. Turns out Zayn beat up an eighteen year old boy. Details are under wraps but one million? Damn, come punch me in the face Zayn." 

Zayn turns off the Radio and Gigi looks at everything but him. 

" I'm sorry, G." Is all he can really say as they drive. 

She fixes her dress as she looks straight ahead. " I hope Liam and Cheryl like their present." 

\---  
And the disaster begins like this.

All the boys are there. Even Danielle Peazer , Sophia Smith, Josh Devine and It's like a reunion. And of course he and Gigi are late but everyone is having fun so they try to blend in. Gigi sees some people she knows and tells him to put her jacket at their seat. 

The room is huge and it decorated in pink, pink and more pink and damn if this is the engagement party then the wedding will be a sight to see.

And that's when he sees the happy couple. Everyone is having a good time goofing off and they are slow dancing. He looks so beautiful, Zayn thinks. He saw pictures of the Brits Awards where he and Louis went to get their award. And it took everything in him not to call Liam but he lies and tells interviewers he has to make it seem as if there is no hostility between he and the others, but now he's a few meters away and this is the best haircut Liam's ever gotten. He looks - and Zayn's never been at a loss of words 'til now.

And Cheryl looks up and makes eye contact with Zayn.

" Zayn darling, you've made it" she screeches. Liam looks up as well. 

And Zayn books it, he runs outside into the parking garage. He can't bare to look at Liam. But of course someone up above just loves to taunt him and Liam comes out right after him. 

" Zayn," and said man can't breathe. He's heaving and he needs to breath so he sits down on the gravel road and Liam follows suit. He places a hand on Zayn's back and gives him a side hug. And Zayn's an imbecile, he takes Liam's affection for far more than it is and tries to kiss him. He succeeds and he wishes he didn't. It's perfect, the kiss, even if it was a peck, it's perfect. However, Liam moves away and stands up. He does as well. 

"But Liam I-" he starts. He's repeated it more than 6 times in the car ride. Rehearsing the confession like a mantra but the words are no longer rolling off his tongue. The night is cold, the crescent moon the only available light. 

Liam looks beautiful.There's no denying it, now. Liam's head is shaved, yet again he admires it because it's his favorite look in him, and his stubble looks good, too.The navy blue blazer of Liam suit is open revealing a tieless,white button down shirt. And he can't help but notice Liam has gotten a tan and the dark, brown chest hair has been replaced with smooth glistening skin. He's staring, he knows he is but he can't look away. He has an unbelievable urge to touch Liam, it's been months afterall and it'd be one simple touch just to see if that spark is still there without kissing .  
" I need to go inside, Zayn. I'm- I'm engaged." Liam states, yet doesn't move. He shoves his hand deep in to his pockets before inhaling a breath of fresh air.  
Zayn mimics him, hands in his pocket, as well. He let's out a shaky breathe before replying, "I'll stay out here, if that s'alright."

He's actually moved on, Zayn thinks to himself,Liam's leaving for good.

" Wait-" Zayn calls out as Liam turns to walk away. " I'm in love." Zayn says.

" And it's with a boy. And I beat up a kid because of him. I pushed away my girlfriend because of him But I love him, I love him. He's so good to me even when he doesn't have to be. He loves Batman like no other. He's grown into a wonderful human being and I've witnessed it first hand and a woman named Nonna says I should have him -" Zayn stopped because Liam hasn't turned to look at him. 

" Zayn, I don't want to hear this." 

" -but I deserve to be happy Liam, I deserve it. I deserve to let myself be happy. And I can do it, I can do it with you." Zayn rants.

Liam turns around, eyes puffy and red as if he's about to cry," I deserve someone who won't leave when life gets rough." And with that Liam walks away.

Zayn feels as if he's been kicked in the stomach. And it hurts, it hurts because it's true.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the spelling and grammatical mistakes. 
> 
> ( Zigi or Zerrie, Sophiam or Cheryl + Liam) 
> 
> Thanks for Reading! ❤️
> 
>  
> 
> Comments and Likes are well appreciated.


End file.
